The relationship between men and women is deep and nuanced, and one entire book of Swedenborg – Conjugial Love or Love in Marriage – is devoted to the subject of gender and marriage. So we can hardly offer a full explanation here.
In a very general sense, though, Swedenborg says that men at their inmost are forms of intellect, driven by the love of growing wise; women at their inmost are forms of affection, driven by the love of wisdom and the good that wisdom can do. They are formed this way because love is the Lord’s essence and wisdom is the Lord’s existence, and everything that is, everything that exists, reflects those same two aspects. We reflect them as individuals, with own thoughts and feelings, and we reflect them as couples when we marry.
Describing differences between men and women can be a touchy thing, and the patterns of our inmost selves are not always visible on the surface. But many men do show a love for acquiring knowledge, spouting out sports statistics or holding court on the workings of the internal combustion engine, even when it is knowledge they are not likely to ever use. They find such knowledge interesting for its own sake — a very external expression of the “love of growing wise” that drives them on their deepest levels.
It follows, then, that when the Bible speaks of men, the men generally represent facts, ideas, knowledge, truth, intellect and wisdom – or in the negative sense falsity, twisted logic, and reasoning that is devoid of concern for others.
Passages from Swedenborg
Arcana Coelestia (Elliott) n. 476
That ‘male and female’ means the marriage of faith and love has been stated and shown already. That is to say, ‘male’ or man (vir) means the understanding and what belongs to the understanding, and so what belongs to faith, while ‘female’ means the will, or what belongs to the will, and so what belongs to love. This also is why she was called Eve, from a word meaning life, which belongs to love alone. ‘Female’ therefore also means the Church, as also shown already, and ‘male’ the man (vir) of the Church. At present the subject is the state of the Church at the time it was spiritual and shortly to become celestial, which is why the word ‘male’ comes first, as it does also in 1:26, 27. Furthermore the expression ‘to create’ has regard to the spiritual man. As soon however as that marriage has taken place, that is, the Church has become celestial, it is no longer called ‘male and female’ but ‘Man’ (Homo) who by virtue of the marriage means both. Consequently ‘and He called their name Man’, which means the Church, follows next.
Arcana Coelestia (Elliott) n. 1499
That ‘Pharaoh gave his men orders concerning him, tend they sent him away]’ means that facts went away from the Lord is clear from the meaning of ‘Pharaoh’ as knowledge, and also from the meaning of ‘men’ as things belonging to the understanding, as shown already in 158. Because the men referred to here are said to belong to ‘Pharaoh’, or knowledge, they mean such things of the understanding supporting such knowledge. The implication of facts going away from the Lord is as follows: When celestial things are being joined to intellectual truths and these truths are becoming celestial, all things that are empty disperse by themselves. This is how it is with that which is celestial.
Arcana Coelestia (Elliott) n. 1600
That ‘the men of Sodom were evil and great sinners before Jehovah’ means the evil desires towards which facts were reaching out becomes clear from the meaning of ‘Sodom’ as evil desires, dealt with already, and from the meaning of ‘men’ (vir) as intellectual concepts and rational concepts, here factual knowledge since they are spoken of in reference to the external man when separated from the internal. That ‘men’ means intellectual concepts or rational concepts has been shown already in 265, 749, 1007. Facts are said to reach out towards evil desires when they are learned for no other purpose than that one may become great, and not so that they may serve the use of making one good. All facts exist to enable a person to become rational and thereby wise, and so to enable him to serve the internal man.
Arcana Coelestia (Elliott) n. 2382
‘And the men who were at the door of the house’ means rational concepts and matters of doctrine deriving from these by means of which violence is offered to good flowing from charity. This is clear from the meaning of ‘the men’ as rational concepts, dealt with in 158, 1007; from the meaning of ‘a door’ as something that introduces or affords access, which leads either to truth or to good, and so means something to do with doctrine, dealt with above in 2356; and from the meaning of ‘a house’ as good that flows from charity, dealt with in various places. The subject here being those who ‘came near to break down the door’, that is, who tried to destroy the good of charity as well as the Lord’s Divinity and His Holiness, 2376, rational concepts that are evil and derivative matters of doctrine that are false are meant, by means of which violence is offered to the good of charity.
Arcana Coelestia (Elliott) n. 2731
I have heard from those most ancient people that conjugial love is such that one partner desires to be wholly the other’s, and that this desire is reciprocal; and that when partners are expressing and receiving it from each other they experience the happiness of heaven. I have also heard that their minds are so joined one to the other that the expression and receipt of that reciprocal desire exists in every single detail of life, that is, in every single part of affection and in every single part of thought. For this reason it has been ordained by the Lord that wives should be affections for good which belong to the will and that husbands should be thoughts about truth which belong to the understanding; also that marriage should exist from such affection and thought, like that between will and understanding, and between every single part of these with the person in whom good married to truth exists, and truth married to good.
Arcana Coelestia (Elliott) n. 4478
‘And they spoke to the men of the city, saying’ means persuasion. This becomes clear from the meaning of ‘speaking’ as willing and also as flowing in, dealt with in 2951, 3037. In this case persuading is meant because persuasion exists in one who wills something; and when anyone like this influences another he communicates his persuasion. Furthermore ‘the men of the city’ means those with whom the truths of doctrine are present, in this case truths like those with Shechem. For in ancient times a city was nothing other than one family belonging to a nation; the dwelling together of those who belonged to one family was called a city. And because in the internal sense it is not the family that is meant but the essential nature of that family so far as life and doctrine are concerned, ‘city’ means the truth of doctrine and ‘inhabitants’ the good of doctrine, see 402, 2268, 2449, 2451, 2712, 2943, 3216. But when the inhabitants of a city are referred to as ‘the men of the city’ it is not the good of doctrine that is meant but the truths of it; for in the Word ‘men’ means truths, 3134.
Arcana Coelestia (Elliott) n. 8337
‘And Miriam the prophetess, Aaron’s sister, took a timbrel in her hand’ means ascribing glory to the Lord from the good of faith. This is clear from the representation of ‘Miriam’ as the good of faith, for ‘Moses’ represents the truth of faith that goes forth directly from the Lord, thus inward truth, whereas ‘Aaron’ represents the truth of faith that goes forth from the Lord in an indirect way, thus outward truth, 7009, 7089, 7382, so that ‘Miriam’ is the good of faith which goes forth in an indirect way from the Lord, for when ‘men’ represent truth, ‘their womenfolk’ represent good, 6014 (since Miriam along with the women represents external good she is in addition referred to as ‘Aaron’s sister’, though she is not called Moses’ sister, the relation between good and truth being like that of sister and brother, 3160. But it should be remembered that ‘women’ represent good and ‘men’ truth when the spiritual Church is the subject, whereas ‘women’ represent truth and ‘men’ good when the celestial Church is the subject…
Arcana Coelestia (Elliott) n. 8596
‘Choose men for us’ means that he should draw truths up in formation for battle. This is clear from the meaning of ‘men’ as truths, dealt with in 265, 749, 1007, 3134. Drawing those truths up for battle is meant by Joshua’s having to choose the men, for when ‘Joshua’ represents God’s truth that engages in conflict, ‘the men’ whom he chooses and links to himself mean truths that have been drawn up for battle.
Arcana Coelestia (Elliott) n. 8994
- ‘She shall not go out as the male slaves do’ means a state unlike truth devoid of affection. This is clear from the meaning of ‘going out’ – out of servitude – as a state after conflict or labour, dealt with above in 8980, 8984; and from the meaning of ‘the male slaves’ as those imbued with truths and not complementary good, dealt with in 8974, thus those imbued with truth devoid of affection. From all this it is evident that ‘she shall not go out as the male slaves do’ means a state unlike truth devoid of affection.
[2] The implications of this must be stated briefly. There are those who are imbued with truth and no affection for it, and there are those who are imbued with an affection. The former were represented by male slaves from the children of Israel, the latter by female slaves, also from the children of Israel. But ‘female slaves’ did not represent those with a genuine affection for truth, only those with an affection that is not genuine, as may be seen from what has been shown immediately above in 8993.
[3] The difference between those imbued with truth devoid of affection, who were represented by the male slaves, and those imbued with an affection for truth, who were represented by the female slaves, is akin to the difference between knowing truth and willing truth. Knowing truth belongs solely to the understanding part of the mind, whereas willing truth belongs to the will part; consequently the difference is akin to that between knowledge and affection. Those imbued with a knowledge of truth and good, meant by male slaves or the men in the representative sense, have no affection for truth and good, only for the knowledge of them; consequently they are delighted with truths for the sake of knowing them. But those imbued with an affection for truth and good, meant by female slaves or the women in the representative sense, have no affection for the knowledge of truth and good, only for truths and forms of good themselves, as they hear and perceive them from others. This kind of affection exists generally with good women, but the affection for knowledge of truth exists generally with men.
[4] So it is that those who are spiritually perceptive have a liking for women with an affection for truths, but not for women who concentrate on gaining knowledge. For it is in keeping with Divine order for men to know things and for women purely to have an affection for them, so the women do not love themselves because of their knowledge but love men; and from this springs the desire for marriage. This also is why those of old said that women must keep silent in the Church. All this being so, factual and religious knowledge are represented by men, but affections by women; at this point affection for truth that pours out of the delights belonging to natural kinds of love is represented by female slaves. And because people with this kind of affection are of an entirely different disposition from those with an affection for knowledge, the situation with female slaves is entirely different from that with male slaves. So this is what is meant by ‘a female slave shall not go out as the male slaves do’. It should be recognized however that this is the situation among those who belong to the Lord’s spiritual kingdom, whereas among those who belong to His celestial kingdom the reverse applies. There husbands are the ones with affection, and wives are the ones with knowledge of good and truth; and this is what the desire for marriage springs from among them.
Heaven and Hell (Dole) n. 368
The reason for this kind of union of husband and wife on the deepest levels of their minds goes back to creation itself. The male is born to focus on cognitive processes, and therefore bases his thinking on his intellect. In contrast, the woman is born to focus on intentions, and therefore bases her thinking on her volition. We can see this from the tendency or innate nature of each as well as from their form. As to innate nature, men do act on the basis of reason, while women act on the basis of their feelings. As to form, the man has a rougher and less attractive face, a deeper voice, and a stronger body, while the woman has a softer and more attractive face, a gentler voice, and a softer body. This is like the difference between intellect and volition or between thought and affection. It is also like the difference between what is true and what is good or between faith and love, since truth and faith are matters of intellect, while good and love are matters of volition.
This is why a boy or a man, in the spiritual sense of the Word, means the discernment of truth, while a girl or woman means an affection for what is good. It is also why the church is called a woman or a girl on the basis of its affection for what is good and true and why everyone who is absorbed in an affection for what is good is called a young woman, as in the Book of Revelation 14:4.
Heaven and Hell (Dole) n. 369
Both man and woman are endowed with intellect and volition, but for men intellect tends to take the lead, while for women it is volition that does so; and people are characterized by what is in control. There is no controlling, though, in marriages in the heavens. The volition of the wife actually belongs to the husband and the intellect of the husband belongs to the wife. This is because each wants to intend and think like the other, mutually, that is, and reciprocally. This is how the two are united into one.
This is a truly effective union. The intent of the wife actually enters into the thinking of the husband, and the thinking of the husband enters into the intent of the wife, especially when they look each other in the face, since as already noted there is a sharing of thoughts and affections in the heavens. There is all the more sharing between a wife and a husband because they love each other.
We may gather from this what the union of minds is like that makes a marriage and that gives birth to marriage love in the heavens-it is that each wants his or her blessings to belong to the other, and that this is mutual.